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366  NIGGER JOKES

Q: and A:

 

1 Q: Did you hear of the new Black Barbie?

  A: It comes with 12 kids, AIDS and a welfare check.

 

2 Q:  What does an apple and a nigger have in common?

  A:  They both look good hanging in a tree!

 

3  Q: What is posted above toilet paper in the bathroom?

   A: Niggers Photo, wipe to develop.

 

4 Q: Who won the race down the tunnel, the nigger or the Aryan?

  A: The Aryan because the nigger had to stop to write "motherfucker" on the wall.

 

5 Q: What’s worse than a nigger with the shit kicked out of him?

  A: A nigger without the shit kicked out of him.

 

6 Q: What is "fee fi fo fee fi fo fo"?

  A: A niggers phone number!

 

7 Q: Did you hear about the big boot sale out at the western store?

  A: There is a pair of beautiful white boots-they're $7,500.00- and are made from human

     skin. But you can get the same boot in black for $19.95.

 

8   Q: Why don't niggers celebrate Thanksgiving?

    A: "Kentucky Fried Chicken" isn't open on holidays

 

9     Q: Why do niggers have flat noses?

      A: That's where GOD put his feet when he was pulling off their tails

 

10 Q: Why don't niggers have check books?

   A: They find it too hard to sign their names in spray paint.

 

11 Q: What's a niggers idea of foreplay?

   A: Don't scream bitch or I'll kill you.

 

12 Q: Did you hear that the KKK bought the movie rights to Roots?

   A: They're going to play it backwards so it has a happy ending.

 

13 Q: What is a nigger's favorite anti-per spirant?

   A: Unemployment.

 

14  Q: How many Polocks does it take to clean a bathroom?

    A: None, it’s a niggers job!

 

15   Q: How come there are so few black astronauts?

       A: They don't like saying "yes nasa, no nasa..."

 

16   Q: What was the only thing missing from the million man march?

       A: An auctioneer!

 

17   Q: Did you hear of the nigger who had a hart attack on Halloween?

       A: some one came dressed as a job.

 

18    Q: How come Jesse Jackson lost the vote of most niggers?

        A: He promised to create jobs for them if elected.

 

19   Q: What is black, white, and rolls off the end of the pier?

       A: A nigger and a seagull fighting over a chicken wing!

 

20   Q: What is eight miles long and has an IQ of 67?

       A: The "Martin Luther King Day" parade.

 

21   Q: What is the title of a nigger favorite "how to" book?

       A: "How to Rape, Steel, and Murder".

 

22 Q: Why do niggers have big nostrils?

     A: Because that's where god held them when he spray painted them.

 

23 Q: What do you call 100 old niggers in a barn?

     A: Antique farming equipment.

 

 24 Q: What's the difference between a nigger and a pizza?

     A: A pizza can feed a family of four.

 

 25 Q: What does the KKK have in common with anabolic steroids?

     A: They both make niggers run like fuck.

 

 26 Q: What is the definition for 'Mass Confusion'?

     A: Father's Day in Harlem.

 

 27 Q: What was the only thing missing from the million man march?

     A: An auctioneer!

 

 28 Q: Why can niggers fuck all night?

     A: Because they don't have to get up the next morning and go to work!

 

 29 Q: What do you get when you cross a nigger with a gorilla?

     A: A dumber gorilla.

 

 

30 Q: Why do white people tan if they get some sun, but burn if they get too much?

     A: God didn't want any more niggers.

 

31 Q: What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your TV floating?

     A: Drop it nigger!

 

32 Q: Did you hear about the nigger who wore a tuxedo to his vasectomy?

   A: He said, "If I'm going to be impotent, I'm going to look impotent."

 

33 Q: What is the difference between Batman and a black man?

     A: Batman can go out at night without Robin.

 

34 Q: Did you hear about the new Chap Stick for niggers?

     A: It comes in a spray can.

 

35 Q: What's the difference between niggers and pit-bulls?

     A: It's still legal to own a pit-bull.

 

36 Q: What do you say to a black man in uniform?

     A: "I'll have a Big Mac with cheese and a coke."

 

37 Q: How do you stop five niggers from raping a white woman?

     A: Thrown them a basketball.

     A: Throw them a watermelon.

 

38 Q: Why do nigger girls wear high heels?

     A: So their knuckles don't drag on the ground

 

39 Q: What do you call a nigger at a KKK rally?

     A1: Soon to be an ex-nigger.

     A2: Coon-die-Soon

 

40 Q: What do you call 18 niggers hanging from a tree in New Orleans?

     A: A Louisiana wind chime!

 

41 Q: Why aren't there any niggers in the Arctic?

     A: 'Cause the Eskimos skin them out for wet suits!"

 

42 Q: What's the difference between a nigger and a tire?

     A: Tires don't sing when you put chains on 'em.

 

43 Q: Why do niggers hate aspirin?

     A: Because they're white, they work, and you have to pick cotton to get them.

 

 

44 Q: Why don't niggers like country music?

     A: When they hear the words "hoe-down" they think their sister's been shot.

 

45 Q: Why do niggers use mustard on their tootsie rolls?

     A: So they don't eat their fingers.

 

46 Q: Why are there nude pictures of black women?

     A: So apes can masturbate too.

 

47 Q: How come there were no black people in the Flintstones?

     A: They were all apes back then.

 

48 Q: Why do niggers smell?

       A: So blind people can hate them to.

 

49 Q: What's the black stuff between elephant’s toes?

     A: Slow niggers.

 

50 Q: What did the nigger get for Christmas?

     A: My bike.

 

51 Q: How long does it take for a black woman to take a shit?

     A: Nine months.

 

52 Q: Why do niggers call white people "honkies"?

     A: That's the last noise they hear before the white people run them over.

 

53  Q: How can you spot a black masochist?

      A: He's the one working for a living.

 

54  Q: What's the difference between good nigger kids and bad nigger kids?

      A: Good nigger kids are in medium security prisons.

 

55  Q: Why do nigger women eat watermelon with their panties off?

      A: To keep the flies off the watermelon.

 

56 Q: Why do niggers walk the way they do?

     A: Because they spent the first nine months of their lives dodging a coat hanger.

 

57  Q: How do you kill a nigger?

      A: Drive down the road at 100mph, then stick his head out of the window, and his lips will  beat him to death.

 

58  Q: How was break dancing invented?

      A: By black kids stealing hubcaps from moving cars.

 

59  Q: What do you call 15 niggers chained together at the bottom of the ocean?

      A: A good start.

 

60  Q: What's long, black, and smelly?

      A: The un-employment line in front of the welfare office

  

61  Q: How do you know Adam and Eve weren't black?

       A: Ever try to take ribs away from a nigger?

 

62   Q: What has 6 legs and says "Ho De Do, Ho De Do"

       A: Three niggers running after the elevator.

 

63   Q: Did you hear about the two black guys on "That's Incredible?"

       A: One had a job, and the other knew his father.

 

64   Q: Did you hear about the nigger with insomnia?

       A: He kept waking up twice a week.

 

65   Q: How do you stop a nigger from going out?

       A: Pour more petrol on.

 

66   Q: What is the difference between a "RAP" group's manager and a proctologist?

       A: A proctologist only deals with one asshole at a time.

 

67   Q: Why were the evolutionists wrong when they asserted that man evolved from apes?

       A: Because we all know that apes evolved from niggers.

 

68 Q: If white woman have piss flaps, what do nigger woman have?

     A: Mud flaps.

 

69  Q: What are the six words you never ever want to hear?

       A: "Hi, I be yo' nu neighba."

 

70   Q: Why do niggers keep chickens on the lawn?

       A: To teach their kids how to walk.

 

71   Q: What is the most common form of transportation in Harlem?

       A: Ambulances.

 

72   Q: How do you kill a nigger when he is drinking?

       A: Slam the toilet lid.

 

73 Q: How do you tell if a nigger has been shot in the head?

     A: By the hole in his ghetto blaster.

 

74   Q: How do you scare a nigger?

       A: Take him to an auction.

 

75   Q: What do you call four niggers in a new Cadillac?

       A: Grand Theft Auto.

 

76   Q: What do you do if you run over a nigger?

       A: Reverse.

 

77   Q: What do you call a hitchhiking nigger?

       A: Stranded.

 

78   Q: What do you call it when a black man rapes a white woman?

       A: Forced bussing.

 

79   Q: What do you call it when a white man rapes a black woman?

       A: Stocking the plantation.

 

80   Q: How can you tell if a nigger girl is not wearing any panties?

       A: She has dandruff on her shoes.

 

81   Q: What does NAACP stand for?

       A1: Niggers, Apes, And Colored People.

       A2: National Association of Apes Coons and Possums

       A3: Now Apes Are Called People.

       A4: National Association of American Crop Pickers.

       A5: Niggers Are Always Causing Problems.

 

82   Q: What do you get if you put odor eaters in a niggers shoes?

       A: Half a mile down the road you get a gold tooth, a radio, and a pair of tennis shoes.

 

83   Q: What do nigger kids use instead of Play-Doh ?

       A: Fresh dog shit.

 

84 Q: Why do niggers always have sex on their minds?

       A: Because they have pubic hair on their heads.

 

85 Q: What is one word that's always missing in a niggers vocabulary?

       A: Work.

 

86   Q. What is the difference between a nigger and a bucket of shit?

       A. The Bucket.

 

87   Q: How do you ruin a nigger party?

       A: Flush the punch bowl.

 

88   Q: What's black and white and red all over?

       A: An interracial couple in an auto wreck.

 

89   Q: What are the first five words a nigger in a three piece tailored suit hears?

       A: Will the defendant please rise.

 

90   Q: Where's the safest place to be during a nigger riot?

       A: The local library, books scare the hell out of them.

 

91   Q: What do you call a nigger with an octopus on his head

       A: An 8 row cotton picker

 

92   Q: How do you save a drowning nigger?

       A: Wave his welfare check over his head.

 

93   Q: How do you get 12 niggers in the back of a VW?

       A: Throw a welfare check in the back seat.

 

94   Q: How do you get 12 niggers in the back of a Cadillac?

       A: Don't worry, they'll figure it out.

 

95   Q: Why do niggers like watermelon?

       A: They finally have something big enough to use those lips on.

 

96   Q: What do you call four niggers in a 57 Chevy?

       A: A blood vessel.

 

97   Q: What do you call a nigger on a bicycle?

       A: A thief.

 

98   Q: Why don't you run over a nigger riding a bicycle?

       A: Chances are that it's your bicycle.

 

99   Q: What do you call two black motorcycle cops?

       A: Chocolate chips.

 

100 Q: Why do black parents put Velcro on the ceiling?

       A: To keep their niglets from jumping on the bed.

 

101 Q: How did the nigger cross the road?

       A: On another nigger's spear.

 

102 Q. Why don't sharks attack niggers?

       A. They mistake them for whale shit.

 

 

103 Q: What color is a nigger after you run over him in the street?

       A: Flat black.

 

104 Q: Why is the NFL going to change to green footballs?

       A: Did you ever hear of a black dropping a watermelon?

 

105 Q: What is 10 niggers in bottom of river?

       A: Pollution.

 

106 Q: What is ten million niggers in bottom of river?

        A: Solution.

 

107 Q: What do you call three blacks at a skinhead barbecue?

       A1: Charcoal.

       A2: Kentucky Fried Nigger

 

108 Q: Why do decent white folk shop at nigger yard sales?

A: To get all their stuff back, of course!

 

109 Q: Why was the nigger acquitted of the rape charge on the grounds of temporary insanity?

       A: Because when he got an erection, there was no blood left to flow to his brain!

 

110 Q: What do you call a white woman who dates a black man?

       A: Color blind!

 

111 Q: Who were the three most famous women in black history?

       A: Aunt Jemima, Diana Ross, and Mother Fucker!

 

112 Q: What do nigger pimps and farmers have in common?

       A: They both need a hoe to stay in business!

 

113 Q: Why are the palms and soles of black people white?

       A: They were spray-painted while assuming the position.

 

114 Q: What do you call a black rocket scientist?

       A: A nigger!

 

115 Q: What do you call a nigger with a mobile phone?

       A: Thief! Thief!

 

116 Q: What do you get if you cross a nigger with a chink?

       A: A car thief who can’t drive.

 

117 Q: Why does a nigger usually keep his fly open?

       A: In case he has to count to eleven.

 

118 Q: What do you call 100 parachuting niggers?

       A: Skeet.

 

119 Q: What do niggers wear?

       A: What ever his master wants!

 

120 Q: Why is the black power sign a fist?

       A: Otherwise they would fall out of the trees.

 

121 Q: What do you call three niggers in a Jacuzzi?

       A: Gorilla's in the Mist.

 

122 Q: What did god say when he made his second nigger?

       A: "Oops, burned another one."

 

123 Q: How do you baby sit for nigger babies?

       A: Wet their lips and stick them to a windowpane.

 

124 Q: What do nigger kids call the Easter bunny?

       A: Dinner.

 

125 Q: Why do niggers relate so well with monkeys?

       A: blood is thicker than water.

 

126 Q: Why are they using niggers instead of laboratory rats in experiments now?

       A: They breed faster and you don't get so attached to them.

 

127 Q: What do both Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles have in common?

       A: Their both niggers.

 

128 Q: Why aren't Stevie Wonder & Ray Charles able to read?

       A: Because they are both niggers.

 

129 Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead nigger in the road?

       A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.

 

130 Q: What do you call a black test tube baby?

       A: Janitor in a jar.

 

131 Q: What is the only thing wrong with five niggers going off a cliff in a Cadillac?

       A: The car holds six.

 

132 Q: How do you starve a nigger?

       A: Hide his welfare check under his work boots.

 

133 Q: How do you keep a nigger out of the front yard?

       A: You hang one in the backyard.

 

134 Q: What did the little nigger boy say when he had diarrhea?

       A: "I'm melting!"

 

135 Q: Why do niggers wear wide-brimmed hats?

       A: So pigeons can't shit on their lips.

 

136 Q: How does an artist draw a South Central LA nigger?

       A: Outlined in chalk.

 

137 Q: Why does California have so many fags and New York have so many niggers?

       A: California had first choice.

 

138 Q: Why don't niggers like convertibles?

       A: Because their lips flap in the wind.

 

139 Q: What do you get when you cross a nigger with a chink?

       A: Chigger.

 

140 Q: What do you call a white guy who wishes he were a nigger?

       A: Wigger

 

141 Q: Why do black men have such narrow hips?

       A: So the roasting pole won't wobble.

 

142 Q: Atlanta's mass transit system, M.A.R.T.A., is an acronym for what?

       A: Moving Apes Rapidly Through Atlanta

 

143 Q: What is the official name of Atlanta's 1-285 beltway?

        A: Ring around the Congo.

 

144 Q: What do you call a nigger with no arms & no legs?

       A: Harmless.

 

145 Q: Why did so many nigger soldiers get killed in Vietnam?

       A: Every time someone yelled "Get down!” the niggers would jump up and start dancing.

 

146 Q: What is a black fortune cookie?

       A: A piece of cornbread with a food stamp in it.

 

147 Q: How do you shoot a nigger in the head?

      A: Aim for the radio.

 

148 Q: How many men does it take to carry a nigger’s coffin?

      A: Eight. Six to carry the coffin and two to carry the radio.

 

149 Q: How many niggers does it take to wallpaper an average sized room?

       A: Depends on how thin you slice them.

 

150 Q: What qualifies as good behavior in a Harlem school?

       A: Raising your hand before you pop a cap in the teacher.

 

151 Q: What do you get when you cross a nigger with a Vietnamese?

       A: Nothing. There are some things even a Vietnamese won't do.

 

152 Q: What's black and tan and looks good on a nigger?

       A: A Doberman pinscher.

 

153 Q: What do you call three niggers sitting' in a garden?

       A: Fertilizer.

 

154 Q: What do you call a nigger with half a brain?

       A: Gifted.

 

155 Q: What do you call a nigger with no brain?

       A: Normal.

 

156 Q: How do you get a nigger woman pregnant?

       A: Cum on her shoes and let the flies do all the work.

 

157 Q: Why aren't there any black skiers?

       A: Because their lips explode at high altitude.

 

158 Q: Where did Vanessa Williams' parents pose nude?

       A: National geographic.

 

159 Q: How do you get a nigger to commit suicide?

       A1: Toss a bucket of KFC into traffic.

       A2: End welfare.

 

160 Q: What's black and white and red all over?

       A: A Ku Klux Klan house-warming party!

 

161 Q: How do you get a nigger out of a tree?

       A: Cut the rope.

 

162 Q: How do you tell if a nigger is lying?

       A: See if his lips are moving.

 

163 Q: What do you call a nigger with a ride on lawnmower?

       A: Thieving nigger!

 

164 Q: What does 'Pontiac' stand for?

       A: Poor Old Nigger Thinks It's A Cadillac.

 

165 Q: What do you call a nigger in a tree with a bunch of monkeys?

       A: Branch manager.

 

166 Q: What do you call a white cock in a black pussy?

       A: Reverse evolution.

 

167 Q: What is blue, orange, pink, green, red and sits on my back porch?

       A: Hay its my nigger and I can paint him any color I want.

 

168 Q: What are two things you can’t give a nigger?

       A: An education and a job!

 

169 Q: What are two more things you can't give a Nigger?

       A: A black eye and a fat lip!

 

170 Q: Why don't niggers like blow jobs?

       A: They don't like any jobs.

 

171 Q: What is printed on all African products?

       A: "Untouched by human hands."

 

172 Q: Why do blacks have bigger dicks than whites?

       A: Cause white kids get toys to play with at Christmas.

 

173 Q: What does it say inside a nigger's lips?

       A: "inflate to 20 PSI."

 

174 Q: How many niggers does it really take to screw in a light bulb?

       A: It takes eight of the little Porch Monkeys to sit on their ass and bitch about how much work they have, until a white guy takes over and just changes the damn thing, but then they shoot him dead and say he was oppressing them.

 

175 Q: What do you call a black woman with braces?

       A: A Black & Decker pecker wrecker.

 

176 Q: What's a cocoon?

       A: A  b.b.black bastard. (or a n.n.nigger)

 

 

177 Q: What do you get when you cross a nigger with a monkey?

       A: Nothing, no monkey is dumb enough to fuck a nigger.

 

178 Q: Why do black women have such big purses?

       A: To carry their lipstick.

 

179 Q: What do you call a white guy surrounded by three blacks?

       A: A victim.

 

180 Q: What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 blacks?

       A: Coach

 

181 Q: What do you call a white guy surrounded by 1000 blacks?

       A: Warden

 

182 Q: What do you call a conversation between Jesse Jackson & James Brown?

       A: Gibberish.

 

183 Q: Why did the ape commit suicide?

       A: He heard he might be descended from niggers.

 

184 Q: What do you do if you see a nigger with half a head?

        A: Stop Laughing and reload.

 

185 Q: Why was the wheelbarrow invented in Africa?

       A: So that the natives could learn to walk on their hind legs before being shipped to

       America.

 

186 Q: Why don't they circumcise niggers?

       A: Because there's no end to those pricks.

 

187 Q: Why did god create orgasms?

       A: So niggers know when to stop.

 

188 Q: Why did god give niggers rhythm?

       A: Because he fucked up their hair, nose and lips.

 

189 Q: What's the first thing taught in a Harlem driving school?

       A: How to unlock a car with a coat hanger.

 

190 Q: Why do lions in Africa go around licking each other's assholes?

       A: To get the taste of niggers out of their mouths.

 

191 Q: What do you call 32 niggers in a room?

       A: A full set of teeth

 

192 Q: Why Does a nigger carry two pieces of toilet paper in his wallet?

       A: One for ID, and the other is a picture of his mother!

 

193 Q: Why are so many niggers moving to Detroit?

       A: They heard there were no jobs there.

 

194 Q: What do you call a black priest?

       A: Holy Shit!

 

195 Q: Why do kids prefer white teachers over black teachers?

       A: It is easier to bring an apple than a watermelon

 

196 Q: Why does an Ethiopian sleep with his finger up his ass?

       A: So that niggers wont steals his breakfast.

 

197 Q: What is the New York State motto?

       A: "Eat, Drink and be Merry, for tomorrow you may be killed by a nigger in Central

             Park."

 

198 Q: What do you get if you cross a nigger with a pit bull terrier?

       A: A whiter neighborhood.

 

199 Q: What do you call a nigger in a park with his fly open?

       A: A rapist.

 

200 Q: Why is a nigger government worker like a shotgun with a broken firing pin?

       A: It won't work and you can't fire it.

 

201 Q: What do you give a nigger women who has an abortion?

       A: A $50 crime stopper award!

 

202 Q: What's the hardest thing about eating a coconut?

       A: The sandals.

 

203 Q: What's the definition of worthless?

       A: A 7'2" nigger with a small dick, that can't play basketball.

 

204 Q: How come Jesse Jackson lost the vote of most niggers?

        A: He promised to create jobs for them if elected.

 

205 Q: Why do they call a half-black half-white child a mulatto?

       A: They don't know whether it is a white shit on by a mule or a black pissed on by two.

 

206 Q: What are green, pink, purple, orange and black?

       A: A nigger dressed for church.

 

207 Q: Why can't Nigger woman become nuns?

       A: Because they can't get used to saying 'superior' after 'Mother'.

 

 208 Q: Did you hear about the recent tragedy in Ethiopia...

       A: Apparently a nuclear device was accidentally detonated. 3 million died in the initial blast

           12 million more died running towards the mushroom!!

 

209 Q: When does a black man become a nigger?

       A: As soon as he leaves the room.

 

210 Q: What's the difference between Simba and O.J.?

       A: Simba is an African Lion and O.J. is a lyin' African.

 

211 Q: What is the correct way to stare down a black man?

       A: Down a gun barrel.

 

212 Q: How do you starve a black man to death?

       A: Put food stamps under his work boots.

 

 213 Q: What is the American Dream?

        A: All the black men swimming back to Africa with a Jew under each arm.

 

214 Q: If a black man, a packie, and a mexican jumped off a building, who lands first?

       A: Who cares?

 

215 Q: What do you call a black guy with a wooden leg?

       A: Shit on a stick, or a waste of wood.

 

216 Q: What do you call a truck full of niggers?

       A: A load of manure.

 

217 Q: What were the two best things about the Million Man March?

       A: Only two people missed work.

 

218 Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning?

       A: Take your foot off of his head.

 

219 Q: Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling?

       A: He doesn't know that he is black.

 

220 Q: What do you get when you cross an ape with a black man?

       A:  retarded ape.

 

 

221 Q: What do you say to a black man in a three-piece suit?

        A: "Will the defendant please rise." 

 

222 Q: What does cotton have in common with noses?

       A: Black people are good at picking both.

 

223 Q: Why do black people stink?

       A: So blind people can hate them too.

 

224 Q: Why did the black man get upset when he had diarrhea?

       A: Because he thought he was melting.

 

225 Q: What do black men say during foreplay?

       A: "If you scream, Bitch, I'll kill you!"

 

226 Q: What do you call an unborn black baby?

       A: Janitor in a drum.

 

227 Q: Hear about the new perfume for black women?

       A: It's called "Eau de doo dah day."

 

228 Q: What do you call a black lady who has an abortion?

       A: A crime fighter.

 

229 Q: How do you keep a nigger out of your back yard?

       A: Hang one in the front.

 

230 Q: When is the only time you can smile and wink at a nigger?

       A:  Through crosshairs.

 

231 Q: Why do black men always look so pissed off?

       A: You would be too if God put pubic hair on your head!

 

232 Q: What were the only three things missing from the million man march?

       A: Shackles, chains, and an auctioneer!

 

233 Q: Why wouldn't the black guy let his daughter marry the Mexican?

       A: He figured the kids would grow up too lazy to steal.

 

234 Q: Hear about G.M.'s new nigger Cadillac?

       A: The glove compartment's big enough to hold a watermelon.

 

235 Q: What's black and white and goes rolling along the boardwalk?

       A: A nigger and a pigeon fighting over a chicken wing!

 

 

236 Q: What do you call a black millionaire physicist?

       A: Nigger!

 

237 Q: What’s the difference between the old nigger mama and an elephant?

       A: Usually about 20 lbs.

 

238 Q: What’s the 13 year old black girl say when she's having sex?

       A: Get off me, Dad, you're squashing my cigarettes.

 

239 Q: What do you call a nigger with a pale face?

       A: Down a quart.

 

240 Q: Why does the nigger carry a shit in his wallet?

       A: I.D.!

 

241 Q: Why don't nigger girls wear panties when they go out to eat?

       A: Keeps the flies off the pizza.

 

242 Q: Why do all niggers go to heaven?

       A: Hey, there are bars to tend and toilets to clean there too!

 

243 Q: What did God say when he made the first nigger?

       A: Oh, Shit!

 

244 Q: Why do police dogs lick there asses so much?

       A: To get the taste of NIGGER out of their mouths!

 

245 Q: What is Harlem's definition of "Relative Humidity"?

       A: The pool of sweat that forms in the small of their sisters back when their doing' her  doggie style.

 

246 Q: Why do Niggers prefer the doggie style position for lovemaking?

       A: They can both watch Soul Train on TV that way.

 

247 Q: How does a girl from Harlem practice safe sex?

       A: She locks the car doors.

 

248 Q: What do girls from Harlem and bears have in common?

       A: They both suck their paws.

 

249 Q: What did the little black kid say when Santa Clause came down the chimney saying,   "Ho ho ho!"?

       A: "Where's ma mamma, mutha phucka?"

 

250 Q: Why do niggers wear white gloves?

       A: So they don't bite off their fingers when they're eating tootle roles

 

251 Q: What’s the difference between a nigger and a speed bump?

       A: You would slow down for a speed bump, wouldn’t you?

 

252 Q: Why dose a nigger disappear after one of his friends leave?

       A: He has to make sure they didn’t steel any of his plastic-ware

 

253 Q: What’s a nigger’s idea of a perfect 10?

       A: any white woman he could get.

 

254 Q: Why are nigger’s pants so big?

       A: So they could conceal more weapons.

 

255 Q: What do niggers and sperm have in common?

       A: Only one in two million work!

 

256 Q: What do you say to Mike Tyson with no arms or legs?

       A: Hey NIGGER!

 

257 Q: Do you know why flies have wings?

       A: So they can beat the niggers to the watermelons.

       A: So they can get away from the niggers.

 

258 Q: Why did the nigger run when his girlfriend said she wanted to give him a blowjob?

       A: He was afraid it would cancel his unemployment benefits.

 

259 Q: What's the difference between a pothole and a nigger?

       A: You'd swerve to avoid a pothole, wouldn't you?

 

260 Q: How do you get 400 niggers in an Escort?

       A: I don't know, but they figure it out.

 

261 Q: Did you hear about Evil Kneivel's cousin, Ku Klux Knieval?

       A: He tried to jump over 50 niggers - With a Steamroller.

 

262 Q: Why don't niggers stick their heads out of moving vehicles?

       A: Their lips catching the wind will beat them to death.

 

263 Q: How do you wipe out 250 ape families?

       A: Blow up Kmart.

 

264 Q: A nigger, a Jew and a spic get shoved off a building at the same time- which one hits pavement first?

       A: Who cares?

 

265 Q: What’s the difference between nigger pussy and a bowling ball?

       A: You can eat a bowling ball.

 

266 Q: Why do niggers tint their car windows?

       A: They don't, it's the black rubbing off.

 

267 Q: How do you get niggers out of your neighborhood?

       A: Hide all the good cardboard boxes.

 

268 Q: Why do black girls dye their hair blonde and wear blue contacts?

       A: So black men will date them.

 

269 Q: What do you call a black Frenchmen?

       A: Jacques Custodian

 

270 Q: What’s long and hard on a nigger?

       A: The Fourth Grade.

 

271 Q: Why did the nigger break his leg raking the leaves?

       A: He fell out of the tree.

 

272 Q: What do you call a nigger with an IQ of 150?

        A: Cheater

        A: Tribe.

 

273 Q: Why don't niggers put Odder Eaters in their shoes?

       A: Because it makes them disappear!

 

274 Q: What's the difference between a truckload of watermelons and a truckload of nigger babies?

       A: You can’t unload a truckload of watermelons with a pitchfork!

 

275 Q: What's black and red, wears a high top Reeboks and cant go through a revolving door?

       A: A nigger with a spear through his head!

 

276 Q: There is a 3-story apartment building with 1 apartment on each floor.

           A white family lives on the top floor.

           A Mexican family lives on the second floor

           A nigger family lives on the bottom floor.

           At 2:00 PM in the afternoon a terrible tornado hits the building,

           totally destroying it.

 

Which family lived?

 

      A: The White family because both parents were at work and the kids were in school.

 

277 Q: What the most confusing day in the nigger neighborhood?

       A: Fathers Day

 

278 Q: Hear about the black version of "Shogun"?

        A: It's called "Shonuff".

 

279 Q: How do you get a black kid to take a shower?

       A: Open a fire hydrant, and start selling crack on the other side.

 

280 Q: Hear about the new Chap Stick for niggers?

       A: It comes in a spray can.

 

281 Q: How do you starve a nigger?

       A: Hide the food stamps and welfare checks under a bar of soap.

 

282 Q: Did you hear about the nigger and the Mexican who opened a restaurant?

        A: It's called Nacho Mama.

 

283 Q: What do you call a black-midget in Ireland?

       A: A lepra-coon.

 

284 Q: How is transportation being improved in Harlem?

       A: They're planting the trees closer together.

 

285 Q: What do you call a white guy surrounded by three blacks?

       A: A victim.

 

286 Q: Twenty blacks?

       A: Coach

 

287 Q: Thirty?

       A: Quarterback

 

288 Q: 200 blacks?

       A: Warden

 

289 Q: If Tarzan and Jane were black, what would Cheetah be?

       A: The brains of the outfit.

 

290 Q: Why aren't there any sandboxes in Harlem?

       A: Cats keep trying to bury the baby niggers.

 

291 Q: What is white yet has a black asshole?

       A: The Washington D.C. Mayor's office.

 

 

292 Q: How many niggers does it take to roof a building?

       A: Ten, if you slice them thin enough.

 

293 Q: How does a nigger pick his nose?

       A: From a mail order catalog.

 

294 Q: What was the name of the dad on the Jetsons?

       A: George.

       Q: What was the name of the dog?

       A: Astro.

       Q: What was the name of the mom?

       A: Jane.

       Q: So what was the name of the black guy?

       A: There wasn't one, isn’t the future great.

 

295 Q: What did the nigger say as he was crawling across the back of a Zebra?

       A: Now you see me now you don’t, now you see me now you don’t.

 

296 Q: Why is Mr. Potato Head jealous of niggers?

       A: Niggers have bigger noses.

 

297 Q: What did Abe Lincoln say after 3 days drunk?

       A: I LET WHO FREE?!

 

298 Q: There’s a nigger and s spic in a car, who’s driving?

       A: The cop

 

299 Q: What’s the difference between a nigger and a pizza?

       A: The Pizza could feed a family of 4.

 

300 Q: How many nigger college students dose it takes to screw in a light bulb?

       A: Only one, but he gets 6 credits for it.

 

301 Q: Why do niggers cry during sex?

       A: The mace.

 

302 Q: How do you stop a nigger from drowning?

       A: You don’t!

 

303: Q: What did the Alabama sheriff call the nigger that’s been shot 15 times?

        A: The worst case of suicide he’s ever seen.

 

304 Q: What do you call an apartment full of niggers?

       A: a COON-dominium.

 

 

305 Q: What do you call a nigger after his white girlfriend brakes up with him?

       A: Homeless.

 

306 Q: What do you have when you got a nigger up to his neck with cement?

       A: Not enough cement.

 

307 Q: Why are niggers buried 12 feet deep?

       A: 'Cause deep down they’re good people.

 

308 Q: What happened when a nigger looked up his family tree?

       A: A gorilla shit on his face.

 

309 Q: What a word that starts with n "N" and ends in a "R" that you

             never want to call a black person?

       A: Neighbor

 

310 Q: What’s the difference between a nigger and a letter?

       A: You could send the letter back to where it came from.

 

311 Q: What’s the difference between the Holy Grail and a nigger’s daddy?

       A: You might find the Holy Grail.

 

312 Q: what do you call 50 niggers buried up to their necks in dirt?

       A: AFRO TURF

 

313 Q: Why do niggers drive with their windows up?

       A: They think the smell is coming from out side.

 

314 Q: Why do niggers love basket ball?

       A: It involves running, shooting, and steeling.

 

315 Q: What has 4 legs and a black arm?

       A: a happy pit-bull

 

316 Q: How do you know if a nigger is well hung?

       A: you could fit only one finger between his neck and the rope!

 

317 Q: Did you hear about the nigger whose wife told him "give me

            10 inches and make it hurt?

       A: He fucked her twice and threw her down the stairs.

 

318 Q: Did you hear about the niglet that died and went to heaven and got wings?

       A: He said "Look I’m an angel". GOD replied "no your a bat now fuck off".

 

319 Q: Why do more niggers get hit by cars in winter?

       A: Their easier to spot in the snow!

 

320 Q: What do you call 2 niggers on a bike?

       A: Organized crime.

 

321 Q: Why are niggers getting stronger?

       A: TV's are getting bigger.

 

322 Q: What dose FUBU stand fore?

       A: Farmers Used to Buy Us.

 

323 Q: What do you call a Chinese nigger?

       A: COON DIE SOON

 

324 Q: Why was white chocolate invented?

       A: So niglest could get messy too.

 

325 Q: What do you call 100 niggers going down a hill?

       A: A mud slide.

 

326 Q: How many Polacks does it take to clean a bathroom?

       A: None - It’s a niggers job.

 

327 Q: What did GOD say when he maid the first nigger?

       A: Oops, put the pubs on the head.

 

328 Q: How do you get a nigger to wear a condom?

       A: Put a Nike logo on it.

 

329 Q: Why don’t niggers get the West Nile Virus?

       A: Mosquitoes don’t land on shit. Flies do.

 

330 Q: Why is a nigger like a vending machine?

       A: Neither work and they both take your money.

 

331 Q: Why is there cotton in pill bottles?

       A: To remind niggers they used to pick cotton before they were drug dealers.

 

332 Q: What’s the difference between Big Foot and a hard working nigger?

       A: Big Foots been spotted.

 

333 Q: What do you call 2 niggers in a body bag?

       A: Twix.

 

334 Q: Why are there only 2 poll bearers at a nigger funeral?

       A: A trash can only has 2 handles/

 

335 Q: Why did the man take off his watch before grabbing a hand full of jelly beans?

       A: He was afraid the blacks would steel it.

 

336 Q: Why do most niggers have nice jewelry and cloths but still live in shitty houses?

       A: They haven’t figured out how to steel a house yet.

 

337 Q: What happened when a woman striped and handcuffed herself to the bed

            and said "now do what you niggers do best"?

       A: The nigger grabbed the TV and ran.

 

338 Q: How dose a nigger tell if she’s pregnant?

       A: She sticks a banana up her puss and if it comes out half eaten she

            knows another monkey is on the way.

 

339 Q: What do you call a nigger in school?

       A: Janitor

 

340 Q: what do you call seven niggers hanging in the same tree?

       A: Wind chime.

 

341 Q: How do you keep a nigger from going out?

       A: pour more lighter fluid on him!

 

342 Q: How can you tell if a nigger just had sex?

       A: His eyes are still red from the mace.

 

343 Q: What’s the difference between a naked white woman and a naked black woman?

       A: Ones on the cover of Play Boy the others on the cover of National Geographic

 

344 Q: Why dont niggers dream?

       A: The last one that had a dream got shot.

 

345 Q: A nigger and a spic fall from a tree, who hits the ground first?

       A: The spic. The nigger gets stopped by the rope.

 

346 Q: How do you get a nigger to stop running?

       A: give him Persil - It keeps colors from running

 

347 Q: What’s the difference between a nigger and a pit-bull?

       A: It’s legal to own a pit bull

 

348 Q: Why did a white man give a homeless nigger new cloths?

       A: He wanted to restore antique farm equipment.

 

349 Q: What’s the difference between a porch monkey and a yard ape?

       A: The length of the chain

 

350 Q: Why don’t niggers play hide and seek?

       A: because no one will look fore them.

 

351 Q: What do you get when you cross a nigger with an octopus?

       A: I don’t know but boy can it pick cotton.

 

352 Q: What’s the difference between a pair of pants and a nigger?

       A: A pair of pants only has one fly on it

 

353 Q: What’s black, runny, and scratches on glass?

       A: A nigger in the microwave.

 

354 Q: What do you call a nigger drinking out of a toilet?

       A: Pushing his luck.

 

355 Q: What do you call 10 niggers in a steam room?

       A: Gorillas in the Mist.

 

356 Q: What do you throw a drowning nigger?

       A: The rest of his family.

 

357 Q: Why did the nigger cross the road?

       A: Who fuckin cares! Why is he out of the cotton field?!

 

358 Q: Why does Stevie Wonder smile all the time?

       A: He don’t know he’s black.

 

359 Q: Why are niggers so fast?

       A: All the slow ones are in jail

 

360 Q: What do you call a nigger having sex?

       A: A rapist.

 

361 Q: Why do niggers lean towards the middle when they drive?

       A: They think the smell is coming from the outside.

 

362 Q: what do you call a nigger prist?

       A: Holy Shit.

 

363 Q: Why do Mexicans put their trash in clear plastic bags?

       A: So the niggers can window shop.

 

634 Q: How does the Navy use niggers?

       A: They debone them and use them as wet suites.

 

365 Q: Why is life like a bowl of jelly beans?

       A: No one likes the black ones.

 

366 Q: What do you do if there is a black out?

       A: Shoot him before he steals everything.


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